The honest answer first: nobody can get your ex back for you, and the people who say they can are the reason you should be careful with everyone in my trade, me included. What can be done is smaller and more useful. Stop doing the things that push them further. Find out whether something outside the two of you is pulling at the bond. And decide, with a clear head, whether you want this person or the end of the pain.
I am Don Jacinto Nahual, from the curandero tradition of Catemaco, Veracruz. People have sat in front of me for thirty years asking this exact question, and this is what I have learned to say.
The mistakes that make it worse
- Calling, messaging, showing up. Every contact after they asked for space is a reason for more space.
- Asking friends and family to intervene. It reaches them as pressure, and pressure reads as the reason they left.
- Watching their social media. It keeps the wound open and gives you nothing you can act on.
- Promising to change overnight. They have heard it; what would land is seeing it, over weeks.
- Paying someone who promises a date. Three days, a week, "by the full moon". A date is the mark of a script.
The one thing that consistently helps
Silence, and using it. Not as a tactic to make them miss you, though that happens, but because it is the only time you get to ask yourself the question that matters: do I want this person, or do I want the pain to stop? Those are different wants and they lead to different work.
The people I have seen reconcile did not win their partner back. They became someone the partner could come back to. That takes weeks, and I know that is not what anyone wants to hear at two in the morning.
What spiritual work can do here
Two things, and both start with a reading, not a candle.
The first is to find out whether something outside is pulling at the bond: a third person, envy with a name, work placed by someone who wants you apart. That happens more than people who did not grow up with this would think, and it shows in the reading. Where it is there, it can be cut. That is what an amarre is for.
The second is to soften a person who has gone hard, so that the door is open if they choose to walk through it. That is an endulzamiento. It opens the door. It does not push anyone through it.
What it cannot do
It cannot make someone who has chosen a new life come back to an old one. It cannot undo violence, and if there was violence the answer is not to bring anyone back. And it cannot replace the conversation the two of you never had; if years of fighting over money, drink or a child are the real story, a counselor will do more than I will, and I say so.
A limit of my own: I turn down about a third of the love cases that reach me, because the reading says the bond is gone. Some of those people go to someone else who says yes. That is their right, and it is usually the beginning of an expensive year.
What a first session looks like
You tell me what happened. I read it and I tell you what I see, including when what I see is that it is over. Then you hear the price, and only then do you decide anything. $97, about an hour. Los Angeles, 1208 Venice Blvd, walk-in; Santa Ana, 830 S Main St Ste 109, by appointment. (213) 598-1928, and the first call is free.
The service page is here: love work and reconciliation.